Wednesday, January 31, 2007

But One last Time Let's Go There

Leaving for Boston shortly to do Mortified. But before I dry my hair, I have to share my new favorite video. Yeah yeah I know. This blog is less chatting and more You Tube. Sometimes, I go on for too long and don't make my point. Especially when I have to leave in ten minutes.

So watch, learn, and love.

This song breaks my tiny fucking heart.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I Remember Hating You For Loving Me

Woke up early, out all day, then came home and took a nap at 7:45pm. Nice life huh?

But this ditty always makes me get up and dance around my bedroom in grey velour sweat pants, and a wifebeater. Why? Because it's fucking BERLIN that's why.

Deal with it.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Every Hero Needs One

Sometimes a problem arises and you have to go out there with some boxing gloves on and beat the shit out of that problem. Today was one of those days. And this is my new anthem.


PS No one was harmed in the making of my Monday.

Monday Morning Hoo Has

I had the pleasure of seeing Dreamgirls last night with my roommate, right after we stuffed our faces with delicious pasta and cheese. So basically a typical Sunday night for SJ. Here's my mini review of "Dreamgirls". Hope no one enjoys!

Every time Jennifer Hudson opens her mouth I am about to cry. Her sound is fierce, but she needs to work on character development a bit more. Golden Globe worthy? Sure, sure. Oscar? Um...yes. But only if we're judging that incredible voice. After she does her biggest number "(And I am telling you) I'm Not Going", I sat and sobbed while pretending I had something in BOTH contacts. Someone gets worked up over musicals.

Eddie Murphy was good. But, well.....okay listen, I'm mighty proud of him as a performer in this film, but the minute he steps out, my roommate grabs me and whispers "sexual chocolate". I laughed because it was true. So much so, that I was expecting him to break out into "The Greatest Love Of All". But he just stuck to the score.

Beyonce/Jamie Foxx/Everyone Else Not Nominated for Oscars:
Decent performance from Miss B. She did get really skinny for the role, but I thought she was fine enough. Still a bit robotic in her movements, and I don't think I'll ever believe she's anything but some daddy's girl who kicks Kelly Rowland to the side so that she can be the star. She was more or less playing herself. And so Jamie Foxx was playing Jigga (aka: Sean Carter/Jay Z). Good to see Danny Glover in a role that didn't involve Mel Gibson and Joe Pesci running after them going "OHHHHH!!!!".

And thus includes my sad but true account of the performances in "Showgirls". Ooops, I mean "Dreamgirls".

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Dreaming of the Warm Stuff

Now that the weather is dropping below the teens, I can complain about winter. Sure, we've had a pretty mild one thus far. Oh it was great to not have to wear a jacket on Christmas. But, right about now, I've had just about enough. When can I wear flip flops again without getting frostbite (not to mention glares from those who frown upon doing so before Memorial Day)?? When can I finally put my gloves, hat, scarf, winter coat with thinsulate, away in the back of my closet??

And why, oh why didn't I go out to LA for pilot season this year? I love you NY. You're my home, my heart. But I also love the beach, the smell of suntan lotion, and a strong blended alcoholic concoction of my choosing. I like summer attire far more than the standard drab winter wardrobe. I like shaving my legs because I have to. I like having to remember my sunglasses, because without them I'll get eye cancer or something.

But most of all, I like being warm. Not cold. And for that, I am going to turn up the heat in my apartment, parade about in a bikini and drink a red stripe.....while wearing my uggs and my fur hat. It's still cold you know.

Monday, January 22, 2007

I Ain't Gonna Lie

Ran into someone I used to work with on the L train this morning. He seemed happy at his new job and I know I'm happy with mine. Sure the day is going to come when I'm working full time again and have to hit off my alarm at 6am instead of 10am. But on a show or something. Hopefully me and corporate America are like an old couple. Nice to say hi and think of fondly, but never gonna date down that road again.

The thing about it, is it's always there. Like cocaine. So sure, when the time comes and I'm desperate enough, I might have to do it full time again. But let's hope I can coast on fumes and temp jobs and small roles on Law and Order playing a 16 year-old who got raped until Scorsese decides to use me as Leo's love interest in their new collaboration. You know, until then.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

"That Is One Nutty Hospital"

It was brought to my attention, about twenty minutes ago that one of my all-time favorite films of the 80's was on. Not only is Bill Murray scene-stealing, but Jessica Lang has yet to discover botox, Dabney Colman is as good a scamp as any, and Dustin Hoffman looks like a woman my mom could play Maj Jong with. Yet all of this pales in comparison to the Steven Bishop song, "It Might Be You". Usually a standard of mine at karaoke, I'll have to remember to add it to my list for next time.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

No, No, No, NO

It's not right, and it's not okay ladies

Are you kidding me Beyonce? It was just a movie B, settle down. You're not Diana Fucking Ross. Though thirty years from now, I hope you're as drugged out and high strung as she drunkenly appear.

J Love, are you hiding Scott Wolfe's career under there? Suddenly the holiday weight I've gained seems so inconsequential.

Oh good, I was wondering what ever happened to Waylon Flower's life size creation of his puppet Madame. And there she goes with another gay dancer.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

What Hurts the Most...

by Rascal flatts is a sappy, country bumpkin jingle that this dipshit can't seem to get enough of.

Tonight I'd like to let you in on six of the many songs I just downloaded (and stole right off of Timelife Music's Soft Rock Collection) and by stole I of course mean paid kisses:

1) Baby Come Back - Player
Wow. What a great song. Once you listen, you'll never be able to get it out of your head. I said EVER.

2) Everything I Own - Bread
My mom was a regular Joanie Mitchell in the 70's and this ditty was played on repeat. On her fucking guitar asswipes.

3) Black Water - Doobie Brothers
And my dad smoked a lot of pot in the 70's, so I was forced to listen to the Doobie Brothers when we'd drive around in his Eldorado with the tape deck. Jealous?

4) Dream Weaver - Gary Wright
One must picture me in a Monique L'lhuiere wedding dress dancing with my handsome husband. Not Wayne's World.

5) Long, Long Time - Linda Ronstandt
See #2 about my mom.

6) You're My Best Friend - Queen
I liked this song before I saw "The Break-Up" but I'm lady enough to note that seeing "The Break-Up" reminded me that I liked it. And that Ralphie from "A Christmas Story" hasn't really aged all that well.

The Best That I Can Do Is Fall In Love.....

with YOU TUBE! My own writing skills (or lack thereof) have taken a back seat to my fascination with this particular website.

And it's because I can't write shit as good as this

SIRE. PLEASE. Like I even need to write anything when the incomparable little sprite that is Dudley Moore is onscreen. Sigh. My hero.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Hurry Boy She's Waiting There For You

If you have 4 minutes and 32 seconds, do yourself the favor and watch some pointy beards, fake rain, and bad lip-synching.

And PS - this is one of my top five favorite songs of all time. And top 45 videos.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

And Someday I'm Sure I'll love My Own

Yesterday we went bowling, then for burgers at Fudruckers, then to see The Departed. More on the burger and the movie later.

I don't think I've made it a secret that I dislike most children. I've never been one to go ape shit over someone's child, infant, or newly impreggnated stomach (unless of course they are a dear friend whom I love very much, then their child is an extention of them and I therefore love that child). I speak to most children like they are adults, and expect them to know the difference.

Maybe it's because I myself am sort of a child in some ways. I said some, assholes. For example, my hands are the size of a four year-olds. So when I bowl, I usually use the smaller balls. But so do children. Especially the six little hangerjobs that were at the lane right next to us, thus sharing our ball holder. (NOTE TO EVERYONE - I have no f-ing clue what this is called bc I am not an overweight teen who 's only joy in life is getting to second base before prom, and the bowling team)

So these six little miscreants, kept taking my god damn ball and using it. Lord knows what sorts of crap they wedged in the holes, but I had had just about enough. So when the eldest of the crew of crap kids, who was maybe ten at the most, lunged for my ball - I snatched it from her hands and like any good adult would do - told her to beat it.

This did not fare well with her. The next time it was my turn, she grabbed MY ball then held onto it like a baby and shouted "MINE!!". I calmly looked her in the eye and smiled to let her know all was forgiven. And then I flipped her off and went to get another ball.

I don't give a shit if you're ten, twenty, or ninety - take my ball and you're looking at the bird.

Now didn't I tell you to beat it kid?

I'm Crazy Like Kraziebone

I would just like everyone to know that I have changed my song on my myspace page to Chamillionaire's "Ridin".

A thank you.