Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Dickie? Where's My Dickie?

Me, my sisters, my cousin, and one handsome dog named Marley.

My older sister Melissa was up in the 631 this weekend and I missed her. It just occured to me that I haven't seen her in like forever. Actually I think since this picture was taken in maybe August? She claims that she's "moving back" to NY soon - to the belief of many. Me? I like to believe that she's a dickey in her own right and talks a good game. And that I love her very very much.

True to form I heard she missed her 10am flight Monday morning. Melissa seriously, why the hell would you ever book a flight before the ungodly waking hour of 1pm???!

Love you!


Don't Be a Hard Rock When You really Are a Gem Babygirl

I just got back from visiting the Grand Palace. It was amazing. I took some good shots but realized earlier this morning that I left my download cord (really what is this fucking thing called I have no clue obviously) at my apartment. So this means no grand pics until I return. Okay right now I am watching MTV Asia whilst eating chocolate cake, and it's interesting because they actually play videos. Like for instance I finally saw the James Blunt video for "Goodbye My Lover" and watched it in it's entirety not realizing until the very end that it was Mischa Barton as the lady love. Right now I'm watching Coldplay's "Fix You" which used to make me cry like an asshole when I heard it but now I'm sort of okay with it. Visiting a majestic palace will do that to you. That's right guys, I've completely changed for the better*.

*no I haven't.....really.

Monday, January 30, 2006

'Don't Bug Me I'm On Vacation" - My Dad. Circa: All The Time

The pool here at the Grand Hyatt. In a word, lovely.

I've been on vacation since I arrived here late yesterday afternoon. But before I begin to launch into how relaxed I already am, allow me to share some of the magic that was Seoul. On Saturday we did some store visits then we went to a traditional Korean spa. "Traditional" means that you (and other Korean women of all ages) strip down to your birthday suit, shower, soak in hot tubs, and cold plunges, and then get massaged by Korean women in their bras and panties. I know it sounds really sexy but it's really the total opposite. My skin was exfoliated by the said woman in her skeevies. While this I occurred I was shocked at how much dead skin came off my body. Then they "massage" you which translates into being slapped around. This is relaxing? Yeah it sort of is in a painful way. Then wonders of wonders, miracles of miracles you end up with this amazing glow (thanks to a cucumber facial). I am still glowing two days later. (might also have something to do with the sun that I just layed out in for three hours) Did I mention that the little Korean lady in her underwear also stood on my butt and back? Yeah it's pretty dope. And frightening. Again, when in Rome...or in this case, Seoul..... Then Saturday night we went out to a Korean barbecue where I announced loudly in front of an entire room of Koreans that I couldn't wait "to eat MEAT!" The meat part was definitely heightened and small children asked their parents in Korean who the scary blonde monster was. Just me kids. Nothing to be scared of...But seriously are you eating that fucking Bul Kogi or WHAT?!

So yesterday I flew to Bangkok and arrived here in the afternoon. I wasted no time on my mini vaca and went shopping. I bought some really great things for under 1100 Baht. (this is like under $30 US - Thailand is so cheap and so cool!) Then last night I went to the spa. I was so relaxed that I fell asleep much earlier than I thought I would. I awoke at 2am Bangkok time and was pleased that I was able to keep my promise and call Erica at her baby shower in Long Island. Sad I couldn't attend I was happy that I was able to call and chat. Then this morning I ate a delicious breakfast and marched my little ass down to the lovely pool where I spent the morning. The sun it hot. The weather is about 98 degrees (hmm if only Nick Lachey and his fine bod was here to lather me in SPF 30) . I suppose I could have layed out all day, but there's too much to do on my brief time off. Plus that sun is pretty strong. So I'm back in my room, just inhaled some pasta (yeah I shamelessly confess...pasta) an entire loaf of bread, and am now enjoying coffee ice cream with whipped cream and watching "As Good As it Gets" before I gets myself into the shower and then off to sitesee.

Important to note: I saw my first creepy sighting of older Caucasian male and younger Thai bride. Ga ross!!! BUT I did manage to flirt with a hot brit out by the pool. He was in a suit using his cellphone and commented that he liked my ipod case. Before we could make plans to fall in love he was whisked away by a co-worker to his job. Alas, like many other things - we were not to be. Well whatever I have a date with a hot, fat, short little gold man named Budha. A thannnnk yoooou!

Friday, January 27, 2006


to go comp shop. I sort of like having this laptop in my room. But seriously this bitch has got to run. Pictures will follow at some point.

The S is for Super and the U is for Unique

Back in Seoul. It's 3pm and we just got back to the Park Hyatt. My room is amazing and I've taken the liberty of taking photos but have to find my cannon cord which is packed in one of my twelve bags. Someone knows how to pack well and it isn't Sara.

While on our Korean Air flight from Busan to Seoul, I was listening to my ipod. More specifically to Jermaine Dupree doing "REEEEEMIIIIXXX" work on one of Mariah's songs. And it occured to me that I sort of like this four foot ten lover of Donald Duck. Yes he's built like a fat jockey, and yes his teeth are pretty busted. But he's man enough for Janet (ah that's Miss Jackson if ya nasty...which I know you are) and he helped emancipate Mimi. So in my book, the kid's alright. Still slightly shorter and resembles the lead in "The Leprechaun", but me likes him. A lot.

This just in, we get a free cocktail at the bar upstairs and you can bet your sweet ass that we are going to take full advantage. As someone here replied, "Wait, we only get one free drink?". I second that emotion.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

And She's Always Gone Too Long, Anytime She Goes Away

View from my room.

I have been up since 6am this morning (yes it's almost 11pm Thursday night here in Busan) and just finished working at 10pm. Such is the life when you're traveling. But I don't mind. I'm really learning and doing a lot. And that's pretty rad.

This morning while getting ready, I went to grab a pair of earrings and one of my favorites (which I got while on a trip with an ex) went flying across the room. I didn't even have time to try to find it. Sort of like our relationship.

Korea's cool guys. Seriously. Me likey.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


Safe and sound in Seoul. Flights were a breeze and spent eight hours sleeping on the flight to Narita. Ambien rules. Am getting ready to go to sleep since it's 1am here. Enjoy your Tuesday. I slept mine away. Narly.

Monday, January 23, 2006

No Rain on my Delay

My flight is delayed and the airline was nice enough to call me in time to cancel my car. So now I have an extra hour or so to watch "The Insider". Awesome. Is it strange that I'm actually looking forward to eating the food on the flight? It's really not that bad. Plus in Business Class you can eat whenever you want. Which as you know is right up this fatty's alley :)

Sunday, January 22, 2006


Fucking Brilliant.

I Hope It Was Great. I Hope It Was Worth It.

Time Check: 3:30pm. I have been on the phone for the better part of this past hour, catching up with friends before I head out. I swear at some point I am packing.

Always Ending, Always Over.

Back and forth, up and down like a roller coaster. I'm breaking that habit today.

Ang got me hooked on Pony Up's "Shut Up and Kiss Me". Why? Because she's a fancy lady who knows where to find fun infectious pop beats.

Time check: 2:30ish. Clothes are in the dryer. Room is a mess. My finances are up to date before I depart so that's always good. Now I can bring each and everyone one of you a golden Buddha from Thailand.

Time Check: 1:57pm

Laundry's in the washer. Need to run down before the old bats in this building throw it in a basket because I was three minutes late to pick it up. It's like Atlantic City down there. Instead of a slot machine, old ladies lurking around your laundry, just waiting for that last minute to be up before they pull open the door and throw your shit in some rolling basket. Bitches.

Quick Change

Today has been dedicated to doing five loads of laundry, cleaning, and packing.

Let's see how much of this gets done by 3pm.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Warm Fuzzy Feelings

Sometimes I wish I could wake up early, meditate, have a cup of tea while I watch the entire CBS 2 Morning Show, and still manage to get to work on time.

Sometimes I also wish for my own personal leprechaun and an extra ten grand a month.

Sometimes I think I'm just crazy. (insert smug pout)

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I Borrowed This From Ang

Courtesy of Post Secret.

Some of these things stir up all of my emotions.

Others make me wish I could give the person who wrote them a huge hug. Then of course, less appropriately my phone number.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

On Second Thought, Maybe She Should Have Taken That Studio

My roommate is no doubt cursing the fact that she decided one year ago, to move into an apartment with a theater fag. I think she just almost caught me in my bathrobe acting out "On My Own". (complete with letter in hand ala Eponine.)

Gay doesn't even begin to describe it.

It's a Feeling Burnin' Like a Lover on Fire

Tell me what's wrong with this following statement:

I just danced around my bedroom to Eddie Money's "I Think I'm in Love" and have decided to nix the idea of walking down the aisle to "Shook Me All Night Long" and instead have them blast this little ditty.

Okay now it's your turn to tell me what's wrong with that statement.

Straight Up Now Tell Me Do You Really Have a Thing for 17 year-olds. Oh oh oh

I think Ms. Abdul needs a peen in the ween pronto. She just almost crawled across the table in hopes of shoving her tiny paws in some 17 year-old "OC" reject's pants.

What would MC Skat Kat think about that one Paula?

Monday, January 16, 2006

Right Now

I am watching two tards talk about what shoes Lindsay Lohan and Reese Witherspoon should wear to tonight's Golden Globes. One of them just pointed to pair of Ferragamo pumps and said, "Yummy they look like candy!".

If I could throw my end table at my television without breaking it, sire I would.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I Really Want to See "Brokeback Mountain"

.... because I like paying ten dollars to see two hot strapping young bucks get in on whilst pretending I am one of them.

Now if you'll excuse me I needs to be making my way towards the nearest National Amusements.....

Make Me a Channel of Your Peace

Paddy Jo, KT, Erica, and SJ - in da flesh like Blondie once sang, circa 2003

I am knee deep in one thousand meetings but wanted to give a quick bellow out (sort of like a shout out...only sweeter) to these crazy kids.

Only because I miss you chumps.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

But Was He Wearing a Purple Cape?

Sire, have you seen this ape?

Cuz, I did.

And yes, he was wearing his cape.

He found another love, it's her he's thinking of....

and there's not a single thing that you can do...

Bravo kids. Way to go. Congratulations on being such lying sacks of cow dung.

You two make me sick. Her with her pretty eyes, him with his wavy hair.

And of course I'm clearly talking about you Maddox and Zahara.


You Know I Don't Believe You When You Say That You Don't Need Me

Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, ohhhhh. I was working as a waitre - OH forget it, I give up.

Now you Mr. Lucas, please remove your pants and come sit next to me (pats bed)

A thank you.

Monday, January 09, 2006

This Just In

I just walked by the cafe here at work on my way to the ladies room and they were blasting "Love Bites" by Def Leppard.

On second thought, maybe they aren't so evil afterall.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

I always liked this one............

"Simple Kind Of Life"
For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife
I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down
Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?
I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad
Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Tell Me Somethin' Good

Many many good tings!

I booked a demo for a top secret project (No not top secret popcorn, though I did think that was the call I was going out for) This is recording today. At noon. I really need to get in the shower.

Annie the loveliest roommate I know, did some more research on our apartment. We're gonna be fine. Thanks for the offer of buying us a place, but we're cool now.

I found out yesterday that I'm going to Seoul, Bangkok, Singapore, and Kuala Lumpur for 18 days. This is strictly a work assignment, but I am tkaing five days in Thailand as a little mini vacation. Very exciting indeed. This spring though, I may have to make a trip to Europe since I've now been to almost every place in Asia I'd want to go, and have never been "across the pond".

Good times.

Friday, January 06, 2006

One More Time, We're Gonna Celebrate Uh Yeah Let's Start the Dancing

Stolen from njguido.com. Thanks guidos.
I have one more drunken rant about my apartment (yes of course we drank - we're homeless!!), does anyone have a room to rent? Seriously. We don't take up much room, but definitely will not put out.
If you need to contend with that then I challenge you to ask any of the 9 guys I lived with in Manasquan one summer. They all tried. And failed. They're also all married...and I'm homeless. Way to go SJ. Way to prove them wrong.

That's the Night When the Lights When Out in Georgia

Just wanted to remind everyone that me and Annie might be homeless soon.

But have no fear. I've invested in some great property out in Long Island.....behind my parents house... more specifically in the shed in their yard...I'm convinced my dad will seriously charge me rent. At least there are hot meals!!

Who am I kidding, those two haven't cooked in years. Oh Annie I miss you already. (insert single tear to be wiped with rent renewal. Then insert swallowing motion followed by large dumping. Yeah boys I went there. I'm fucking homeless!!!!)

Please Sir Can We Have Some More?

Well step right up and come inside me and Annie's new apartment. Since our pleasant management company decided to raise our rent, oh I don't know, THIRTEEN AND A HALF PERCENT, it appears that we will no longer be able to occupy this "palatal luxury" apartment on the inside/project housing on the outside. Don't get me wrong Pretenders, we fucking LOVE this place and our apartment is rad. But nothing. I say nothing is worth the two of us moonlighting as phone sex operators OR selling our eggs for cash. Trust me, we considered...both of them.

Also, we're having our lawyers look into this immediately. And yes I'm totally speaking about my parents dogs Marley and Pearl respectively. Word.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

No Sleep Till Manhattan

I have once again been kept up from the mystery neighbor above. At first a few months back, I took the loud banging at night to be banging of my neighbor and his/her latest conquest. Lately however it sounds almost as if the person above is playing upside down bins like the kids in the Mariah Carey video "Someday" or more recently for those not old enough to remember that one, Alicia Keyes' "Karma". Then I heard this loud thumping and taps. Is Savion Glover living above me? As cool as it would be to have the star of "Jellie's Last Jam" in such close proximity, it's not so cool when it's 12:45am and you're sort of half awake and this person's drumming, beating, and stomping is keeping you up.

Last night, Sara had had it.

I took it upon myself to grab my broom and knock the shit out of my ceiling. Oh it stopped. Then started up five minutes later. Is this person asking for this broom up their ass? I'll fix them. So then I called the building security (yes we have our own -it's how we roll) and the security guard says he has to come inside my apartment to detect the sound. OH splendid. Just what I want at 1am, a security guard in my bedroom while I'm half dressed. No thanks street tough. I'll just wait until my roommate gets home then I'll have her kick my neighbor's ass.

I'd fight, but I just had my nails done.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Your Life is A Train Wreck...

Question: Is anyone else as excited to watch this mess of a reality series on MTV as much as me and Giulia are?

Yeah I didn't think so.

By the way, Ashley after watching the ten minute promo which I thought was the show (foiled again MTV!!), I sort of felt bad when you cried to your pregnant wife about only having negative $27 in your bank account. You know since I steal music for my ipod (which includes two songs by O Town). So basically I'm a criminal trapped in the body of a 14 year old girl who shops at Limited Too. Sowwy Ash.

No really your show looks awesome (insert thumbs up while holding in laughter and making Problem Child face)

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

It's All Shits and Giggles Until Some A-Hole Gets in Your Way - How I Spent My New Years 06' Fool

Finally had a chance to upload some pics from Saturday night. Thank you for liking my top. I bought it at H&M with my mom on Friday.

Double Happiness lived up to it's name. Harry Belafonte isn't that bad looking afterall is he Dan? Annie? Ang?


PS. I think the first picture looks like an ad for a dating service, thanks to my mug.

Monday, January 02, 2006

If I Could Turn Back Time

I'd take back those words that hurt you, and you'd stay

Also I would have paid more attention in my bobo computer class in college and learned what the fuck HTML is/does. But someone found it more important to show up only for finals where this certain someone cheated off of Chabli Anderson who actually bothered to attend for the full 13 weeks. Mom, Dad - your money went somewhere....to the mall.

Even Though We Ain't Got Money, I'm So In Love With You Honey

Resolution #1: Seriously get tickets to see Kenny Loggins at Westbury Music Fair in March. (even if Kelly says she will not go with you)
Resolution #2: Become fanmember on his website
Resolution #3: Play "Return to Pooh Corner" until I cry...outloud